


The Dangers of Boredom

by cleo4u2



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Gen Work, Kissing, M/M, no roombas were harmed in the making of this fic, story time, the roomore lives!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-30 03:14:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20807594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cleo4u2/pseuds/cleo4u2
Summary: Aisha is sick of the Losers going out of their way to keep Jake Jensen occupied. They explain why a bored Jensen is dangerous.





	The Dangers of Boredom

**Author's Note:**

> No beta. All errors are my own.

“That is it!” Aisha shouts. At the same time, she slams the knife she’s been polishing into the dirt. That, more than the shouting, gets the Losers’ attention.

Clay braves the fire to ask, “What’s it?” as Pooch, Jake, and even Cougar watches Aisha warily. She _had_ shot at them before, and is as dangerous as anyone.

“The games!” Aisha throws up her hands in disgust. “The constant coddling of Jensen! It’s absurd and a waste of time.”

“Fun is not a waste of time,” Jake protests.

The remaining three Losers share a long look.

Clay says carefully, “It’s a matter of survival.”

Glaring, Aisha yanks her knife free of the dirt.

“He’s not a child, Clay. He doesn’t require constant supervision.”

Pooch laughs.

“You are so wrong about that.”

“Hey!” Jake protests, but no one is listening.

Aisha opens her mouth to argue, but Cougar beats her to it.

“Jensen left to his own devices when bored is more dangerous than Max.”

Jake sighs.

“You all can stop talking about me like I’m not here.”

Meeting Jake’s gaze, Pooch says flatly, “The Roomore.”

A distant, nostalgic look comes over Jake’s face as Clay and Cougar both blanch.

“Oh, yeah…” 

Aisha snaps, “The what?”

Returning from his fond reminiscence, Jake leans forward eagerly in his chair.

“The Roomore! See, I had bought this Roomba since they’re super cool and no one ever vacuumed. Then I found this old claymore, and -”

“I’ll tell the story,” Clay interrupts.

Aisha asks, “A claymore?” with more than a little alarm.

Clay nods.

“We’d had Jake for a few months; our last tech had gotten shot. Mostly, he fit in fine, so I had stopped keeping tabs on him during missions. We had been sent on one that turned into us sitting around, waiting for the greenlight from the brass. The first week was fine, but by the third, we were all coming down with cabin fever. After pulling Roque off both Pooch and Cougar, I put Jake in his room because I figured if Roque lost his shit with Jake, no force on Earth would keep my new tech in one piece.”

Cougar snorts in amusement as Pooch says, “When that happened, none of us expected the outcome.”

“Focus,” Clay orders while Jake grins with satisfaction. “As I was saying, Jake was holed up in his room as week three turned into week four. The rest of us were being cleaned out by Cougar in our hundredth game of poker when the Roomba rolled in.

It was this knock-off Jake had picked up god knows where. We’d been grateful at the time since the safehouse was a sty and we’re not exactly the best housekeepers.”

“You don’t say,” Aisha says dryly.

Clay ignores her.

“We were used to the damn thing by now so we don’t notice right away. Then, instead of showing us his hand, Cougar goes diving to one side. I have never heard him curse so much before, or since. And as his cursing and scrambling for the door -”

“Every man for himself,” Cougar interjects.

“- the rest of us are trying to find what has panicked the most unflappable man on the damned planet. Roque decides we must be under attack and pulls out both a knife and a pistol - against an anti-personal _explosive_ and starts waving both in the air. Pooch, being the sane and stable man that he is -”

“Thank you.”

“- decides that, even if he can’t identify the threat, it’s probably a good idea to vacate the room. He gets halfway to the door when he sees it; the roomba spinning about, trying to clean the floor with a fucking claymore strapped to the top.”

“And a webcam,” Jake adds.

Aisha holds up a hand.

“Wait. There’s video of this entire debacle?”

Jake crosses his arms and almost pouts.

“There _was_.”

“There was an accident,” Cougar says in a tone that makes it clear the loss was no accident.

“You would have loved to see,” Jake says, heedless of the glares he’s getting from the other men. “The roomba kept spinning around, the part that explodes outward changing directions all the time. Once Pooch pointed it out, they were jumping, and spinning, and running about the whole kitchen to stay out of the line of fire.”

Clay shakes his head.

“It’s not like we knew it was disarmed.”

Jake scoffs.

“Are you serious? Yes, Clay, the enemy has invented the dirt seeking drone, guaranteed to eliminate the filthiest of opponents.”

Aisha snickers.

“It’s more like we thought you might be that careless,” Pooch says.

“Please.” Jake flaps a dismissive hand at Pooch. “None of you knew it was me at that point.”

Cougar says, “We did not,” before Pooch can argue.

“How did you get away from it?” Aisha asks. “And what did Roque do to Jake?”

“Cougar made it out of the kitchen,” Clay says, “but the rest of us danced about until the battery ran out, or it decided the room was clean, and the cursed thing returned to its dock. As to what happened to Jake, you’ll have to ask Cougar. He got there before Roque and stayed there for the rest of the week when we got our green light.”

“Roque thought I was being tortured, so he let it go,” Jake says smugly.

Aisha looks at Cougar in surprise.

“You didn’t get revenge?”

Cougar smirks.

“Oh, I got even.”

Jake adds, “But it wasn’t torture.”

“We know,” Pooch groans. “We just let Roque think it was you shouting in pain so Cougar wouldn’t kill him.”

“And we made sure Jake wasn’t bored again,” Clay says.

Aisha shrugs and nods like that makes sense. Which would have been the end of it, except Jake declares, “Cougar’s method is my favorite.”

“That is way more than I needed to know,” Aisha states, standing and marching off. Clay, of course, follows after giving Jake an annoyed look.

“Ya’ll are disgusting, you know that?” Pooch says, pointing first at Jake, and then at Cougar. “No one should be as obvious about their sex-life as you two.” When all Jake does is smile, he stands. “That’s it; you can make moon eyes at each other without the Pooch.”

When he's gone as well, Cougar cups the back of Jake’s neck and pulls his head down until they're almost kissing.

“I suppose I should occupy you now, yes?”

Jake nods eagerly.

“Yeah, can’t have me getting bored.”

Cougar chuckles, his breath ghosting over Jake’s lips to murmur, “No, we can’t have that,” just before he kisses Jake with a purpose. 

No one will be in danger tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> **Come and visit Cleo on... places...**  
Tumblr: [@cleo4u2](http://cleo4u2.tumblr.com)  
Pillowfort: [Cleo4u2](https://www.pillowfort.io/Cleo4u2)  
Twitter: [@Cleo4u2](https://twitter.com/Cleo4u2)


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